Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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