I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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