so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
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God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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