Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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