I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
