you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
