But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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