i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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