Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
