I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
