my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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