Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
