i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
