but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
where does the pee come out of this thing
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
