so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You are a genius and a whore.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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