She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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