Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
