Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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