C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
