Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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