We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
