No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
