Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
