you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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