Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
