i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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