Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
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And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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