Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
