Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
