Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
