i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Boobs speak an international language.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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