I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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