Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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