bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
