she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
