How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
