Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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