We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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