I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
