Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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