Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize