suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
