dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
