Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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