He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
