Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
