I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
