Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
