question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Terrible idea I love it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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