Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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