I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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