Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
a search helicopter?!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I supernannyed him into submission
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
