I molested 6 butterflies tonight
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize