all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Randomize
