The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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