Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
