well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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