There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
