Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize