no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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